43 comments on “Aspergers Syndrome

  1. Back in my late teens, early 20’s, I was fighting some serious cognitive and social oddities brought on by my stunted levels of socialization. This brought me to the shrink, obviously. The psychologists volunteered voluminous levels of diagnostic bullshit and the psychiatrists fed me neuroleptics and anti-depressants. The side effects were horrible. I told the psychiatrist ‘fuck this, I’m not taking this shit anymore’ and I walked away and never looked back.

    The mental health field is feminized claptrap and obviously we are well aware of the power of the pharmaceutical industry. Rather than attend to personality and emotional immaturities which are behavioral in origin, they fall back on the DSM flavor of the month.

    • Phoenixism I’m not surprised that happened to you. I haven’t had to deal with pharmaceuticals being pushed on me from my experiences in the mental health arena but I suspect that’s just dumb luck. I ended up going through several psychiatrists. That’s because I couldn’t get past one session with most of them. I made the “mistake” of trying to do some research on my own and suggested a sex surrogate. The response to that was universally, “I’m not a pimp!”. There was the psychiatrist who accused me of lying about my experiences with women. There was the psychiatrist who tried to convince I had been in relationships with women but repressed the memories of it. Of course I had none of the symptoms of repressed memories. Last was the psychaitrist that thought I had aspergers but again I didn’t meet the criteria.

      These people were on fishing expeditions pure and simple. When you go to a regular doctor you can get an annual physical where the doctor will tell you if there is nothing wrong with you and send you on your way. A psychiatrist will not do that. They go on fishing expeditions instead.

      The entire mental health field is feminized (and politicized as a result). My experiences prove that. As soon as the issue of women came up which it did immediately since that was my issue, they couldn’t deal with it since it meant admitting women were wrong about something.

      I think that the man I quoted in my post is on to something. We hear plenty about growing numbers with autism/aspergers. But how many of these growing numbers are men who women want nothing to do with? Most I bet. These men are having an unnecessary and incorrect aspergers treatment forced on them simply because the mental health field can’t admit the truth about women and their hypergamy.

      • Something does not make sense.

        Women are seeking higher-status men, but there are only so many of them to go around. This would mean many women would be left out entirely.

        • >>Women are seeking higher-status men, but there are only so many of them to go around. This would mean many men would be left out entirely.<<

          Fixed that for ya, Michael. 😉

          Women have always been like that. But I suspect the reason why there are a growing number of male virgins is because of the increased tolerance for polyamory and other forms of non-monogamy in women.

        • Fixed that for ya, Michael.

          Not quite.

          I stated that there are clearly not enough high-status men to go around.

        • And I’M saying that because there aren’t enough alpha males for all the women out there who seek them, the alphas will be able to sleep around with lots of women! THAT is what happens in societies that legally permit polygamy: The high status men get ALL the women and the lower status males are shit out of luck.

        • And I’M saying that because there aren’t enough alpha males for all the women out there who seek them, the alphas will be able to sleep around with lots of women! THAT is what happens in societies that legally permit polygamy: The high status men get ALL the women and the lower status males are shit out of luck.

          Women are not all that keen in sharing men.

          The former Mrs. Tiger Woods was not very tolerant of her husband’s polyamorous activities.

    • If you know the gender breakdown of people who are psychologists, you will understand why it is only among men that “an epidemic of Asperger’s” has been discovered. Psychology is understandably seen as a soft-touch subject, and having seen how lessons were conducted at university, with no critical thinking or questioning allowed… well, garbage-in, garbage-out. Especially when the lecturers both male and female said that no blame could be apportioned to females for their bad behaviour — that a man drove them to it.
      With spurious reasoning and female supremacist ideology to back them, any man who is not an alpha is a target. But of course. Empires can only be built on the bodies of the weak (or those who don’t know better).
      And remember, when you are dealing with those who have batshit wacko ideas, anything is justifiable.

  2. Something does not make sense.

    Women are seeking higher-status men, but there are only so many of them to go around. This would mean many women would be left out entirely.

    Either they share a man and/or the high status men are hopping from woman to woman with no pause in between.

    • Either they share a man and/or the high status men are hopping from woman to woman with no pause in between.
      Are women more open to sharing men than men are open to sharing women?

      Also, what proportion of women who seek higher-status men actually get one instead of being alone?

      • Are women more open to sharing men than men are open to sharing women?

        When it comes to alpha men, yes.

        Also, what proportion of women who seek higher-status men actually get one instead of being alone?

        It’s hard to say. Potentially a lot. Of course women won’t realize this until their wylie e coyote moment when they can’t ride the high-status man caruosel anymore. Plus more and more men know the deal so they won’t be women’s back up options.

  3. So what do you think is the matter then, if not Aspergers? The vast majority of men lose their virginity in high school/early college. Most men are married by their late 20’s, with some holding out until their early 30’s. It isn’t that difficult for most men to get a woman, apparently, from looking around, even some of the dumbest and/or ugliest are often to able to acccomplish this minimal feat. You seem like a reasonably articulate guy, though I don’t know how you look. So what is the deal? Poor socialization? Aiming your sights too high? Poor hygiene/terrible looks? A complete lack of conversational ability? What do you think is holding you back from getting, and keeping a woman, when the vast majority of men are able to do so?

  4. But even with female hypergamy, most men still end up with a women. Perhaps not the most desirable woman in the world, but most humans eventually pair off and end up together. I could see the hypergamy excuse if most men in the US did not get laid and get married, but the overwhelming majority of them do. So what is holding you back from being one of them? You have a job, you are articulate. Even most white nerd types end up with a girl. So there has to be something more to it than hypergamy. I think that is what your therapist was searching for. Why have you failed to do what the vast majority of people can accomplish by middle school/high school/college? Most guys don’t have game, so it isn’t that. Severe hygiene issues might be a reason, but I’m assuming it isn’t that, because hopefully your therapist would have pointed it out. Crippling shyness? Physical deformities? They would be obvious explanations, but your therapist would not be reaching for an Asperger’s diagnosis if that was the case. I do sense some simmering anger and bitterness, which would turn a lot of women off, but certainly not every woman. Some (damaged)women may even be attracted to that. Is there any internal reason that you could fathom as to why you haven’t been in a relationship? Or is it really all the fault of women and their fickle natures?

    • I could see the hypergamy excuse if most men in the US did not get laid and get married, but the overwhelming majority of them do.

      Getting laid doesn’t mean that much. I know guys who have gotten laid once/twice/three times in their lives but for all intents and purposes they are in the same boat as I am. Saying they have “gotten laid” doesn’t tell us much, and I’m not even including the guys who went to a hooker.

      As for the majority of men getting married, marriage is becoming less and less common. On top of that there’s the marriage strike and the mancession making previously marriageable groups of men not unmarriageable. I have worked in places where everyone except support staff was a man with a masters or a Ph.d. Only 50% of the guys were married. If you took out first generation immigrants its drops to 30%. It was clear the rest of us aren’t going to be married anytime soon.

      More importantly lots of guys were willing to be a woman’s “plan b” when she got desparate since it got these guys something. More and more guys know the truth about this everyday and are refusing to be a woman’s “plan b”.

      Severe hygiene issues might be a reason, but I’m assuming it isn’t that, because hopefully your therapist would have pointed it out. Crippling shyness? Physical deformities?

      If any of that was a problem it would be clearer long before I went to a therapist. I would have trouble getting jobs, making the friends I have now, etc.

      They would be obvious explanations, but your therapist would not be reaching for an Asperger’s diagnosis if that was the case.

      Agreed. The problem is that I have been to several therapists none of which could agree on a diagnosis except for the last one that suggested aspergers and that’s because he sent be to others saying that I might have aspergers. One said I was making it all up. Another claimed that I was repressing memories and that I had girlfriends in the past. Others I pissed off by suggesting I needed a sex surrogate.

      To take the aspergers example why did they have so much trouble diagnosing me with that? It’s because I must have not met the diagnostic criteria. The diagnostic criteria for aspergers does not include unable to get laid or unable to get a girlfriend. As politicied and feminized as the mental health field is mental disorders still have real diagnostic criteria. Whether I have aspergers or not (or anything else) is not based on what women think.

      I do sense some simmering anger and bitterness, which would turn a lot of women off, but certainly not every woman. Some (damaged)women may even be attracted to that.

      I am angry and bitter now. I appriciate that you recognize I wasn’t always angry and bitter. A common response I get is that I need to stop being so angry and bitter as if I was born angry and bitter. That makes no sense.

      I haven’t found any damaged women attracted to me, but if there was a damaged woman attracted to me I might give that a go.

      Is there any internal reason that you could fathom as to why you haven’t been in a relationship? Or is it really all the fault of women and their fickle natures?

      The problem is that it isn’t just me. I know plenty of guys who are in the same situation. The internet in particular has shown how its more widespread than most think. But it isn’t just the internet either. I know guys like me IRL and guys who may not be virgins but are like me regardless.

      If there was something wrong with me, the only thing I could guess at this point is that I have fallen through a series of loopholes. As I get farther and farther away from the majority sexually (when it comes to women only the distance is even greater), it gets harder and harder for me to solve. The obvious solution would be a sex surrogate but sex surrogates have all but vanished. The handful that are left of course only will work with you if a psychologist is involved. This seems reasonable except that the mental health field is ideologically anti-surrogate because the mental health field is anti-male.

      While female hypergamy is a problem, this is also a political (and by extension and economic) problem. It’s not as simple as the problem being just me. Lots of people will say that I must be the problem because I’m the only common element. The fact is I’m not. The same thing is happening to lots of other guys.

    • “Ending up with a woman” means very little, when the woman you “end up with” has had her “end” sorted away many times before.
      It’s even worse when you see that the women that are “ended up with”, are those that choose to “end the marriage”.
      The “End”.

  5. Our minds are different than regular people. What they are implying is regulated on their norms. We are not supposed to adopt their ideas. If you feel there is something wrong with you, if you hear a voice inside your head to act then do it. But listening to others, their accusations wont really solve the problem.

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    • White and Nerdy, In my honest opinion I think the main reason you have problems with women is due to you having asperger syndrome like psychologists have diagnosed you with.

      Of course I agree with you that feminism definitely causes problems with men, but all it does is worsen the conditions of men that have social problems, but it is not the root cause. Asperger syndrome is known as the “extreme male mind”, so most women naturally will be repulsed with social behaviors that they cannot relate to.

      I think I might have mild asperger syndrome, though I’ve never been diagnosed with it, but I’ve noticed that when I don’t hide my asperger traits, the majority of women find me unattractive and will look down on me. However, if I try my best to hide these traits, I notice more women become attracted to me and most women will feel neutral towards me.

      I think in the same way women attracted to men that “look” feminine, they are also attracted to men that have a female-like mind, unlike an extreme male brain like asperger that is unattractive to females because they don’t understand how their mind works because its so different.

      I also don’t disagree with you that feminism causes problems with most men in general. However, it doesn’t hurt alpha males at all, whose minds are naturally attractive to women and have no trouble getting laid with lots of women. The average male will have trouble getting laid with any woman he wants, but they usually do not have problems getting a girlfriend if they have decent social skills and are decent looking. However, men with asperger syndrome get screwed over the most because their minds are unattractive to most women.

      So what is a male with asperger syndrome to do? I think the best thing to do is work on hiding most of these traits and developing their social skills. This can happen over time as I have done this with moderate success, but it takes practice. Also, it’s best to not go after average women and instead go for geeky socially awkward women, though they are rare.

      • How do you know I have Aspergers? The psychologist who diagnosed me couldn’t find any real evidence that I have it. And what about the psychologists who thought I was making it all up? They were obviously wrong so why should I trust other psychologists especially when the field of psychology has been politicized and feminized?

        • I’m not sure if you have asperger syndrome or not. I think it’s best to read about asperger syndrome as much as possible and try to figure out if you actually have it or don’t. I’ve done this and found out that I had a mild version of it because I have only a certain amount of the asperger traits and only to an extent.

          I think it could explain a lot of the problems you have with women because it’s possible that you might accidentally give off bad vibes to women unknowingly and they’ll accuse you of sexual harassment our of pure paranoia. I know at times I’ve given off bad vibes to women by accident, but gladly never to the extent to being accused of sexual harassment.

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  8. Fuck you, dude.

    I was really enjoying your blog until I read this post. So what you’re saying here is the circumstances of my own life are all my fault because I have Asperger’s Syndrome, but the circumstances of yours aren’t because you don’t? FUCK you.

    I can’t help the way I was born. I’d love to accept being an “Omega Virgin” forever and ever (and I have) if it meant I could find employment. Why the hell do people like you feel the need to belittle and demean those of us in an even lower caste than yourself?

    FUCK YOU!

    (…but keep fighting the female supremacists…)

    • I reread my post 3 times. Where did you get the idea I was saying that men with Aspergers Syndrome are all at fault for their problems? I object to the medicalization of masculinity and overdiagnoses of Aspergers are used in that effort to shift the blame of women’s actions from women to men. I’m not the one blaming men. The female supermacists are.

  9. Here:

    “It had to be “my fault” because they didn’t want to admit women could ever be evil but they couldn’t force me into the Aspergers box.”

    You’re basically implying that Asperger’s “could cause women to be evil” and that it would be “your fault”. In other words, the women aren’t really evil in situations where they have to deal with Aspie men. Their behavior is justified if the man they’re dealing with has Asperger’s Syndrome. It’s “his fault”.

    Also, in your other posts linking to this one you mention “lying a lot” and Asperger’s in the same breath, as if equatable.

    I do apologize for my ridiculous over-reaction above. I have a hair-trigger temper when I sense someone smearing those of us with Asperger’s. Sorry.

    • I’m saying they’re saying that not me. That should be clear from the context. I don’t have the time to make a blog post so verbose to avoid such an out there interpretation of a sentence I write. I’m not a lawyer and I don’t write legalese and I don’t apologize for that.

  10. I used to think women were attracted to successful men. Some are, it makes sense if they are. However, I also noticed that many very attractive women are attracted to men that are complete assholes. Even men who are drug addicts, bums, no jobs, and just downright mean often get the hottest women. These bums may appear as Alphas to many women. I know a polite, financially successful man who is not good looking and is shy and he can’t get laid. Most women are repulsed by his niceness. They choose immature clowns or a brutal no-job bum over him every time. He may get a predator who will use him for gain and that’s it.
    If you find your Aspberger’s preventing you from getting laid or getting a date, the answer is simple. Don’t be nice. Be an asshole, American women love it. Nice men are not popular and a nice Aspie would be downright repulsive to a standard American woman. Paroled rapists and murderers get dates faster than nice men.

    • have you seen how scumbags like Amanda Marcotte and Mr. Manboobz ridicule men with poor social skills as subhuman Nice Guys ™ yet speak highly about male feminist Hugo Schwyzer who tried to kill his girlfreind in a drug fueled rage?

      The hypocrisy of these people is amazing….

      Then, if your someone who has been treated badly by women and you decide MGTOW is your best approach, they pull out all the shaming language. They can’t create a reasoned debate why a single, never married should “man up” and “Marry a slut” or take care of kids that aren’t his. Remember they are part of the movement that supports a woman’s right’s to murder a fetus, um, hav and an abortion.

    • ‘I used to think women were attracted to successful men. Some are, it makes sense if they are. However, I also noticed that many very attractive women are attracted to men that are complete assholes.’

      Yeah, women being attracted to the ‘rough’ men is nothing new: the notorious pirate Blackbeard is reputed to have had around a dozen or so wives. Then there are the Roman women who had flings with gladiators. Womans attitude towards men is largely the same regardless of what the year is, or the culture is.

  11. Interesting point. I don’t bother watching TV these days, so I’m not up on these persons you mentioned. Amanda So and So, etc. I am aware that women are programmed to hate or fear The Nice Guy, yet they will hook up with a paroled murderer or rapist at the drop of a hat. Sometimes they get what they deserve for that and land in a morgue.
    I haven’t been “nice” to women in years, I figured out that they like assholes years ago. I know shy men that are very polite and women literally shun them. They aren’t really wimpy nice guys, they’re just old fashioned and polite. I dislike the vast majority of American women. I do not want a relationship with any of them. I dated a French woman and an Arab woman, both foreign nationals who had to leave the country when their visas expired. When I am bored enough or have time I will go to a rural area and pick up drunk trailer park type women. Divorced “Trailer Trash” women are often not that bad looking and less annoying than suburban/urban supposedly “educated” women. Yeah, they’re usually drunks, but the supposedly more sophisticated women are either crazy or on drugs themselves. The redneck lasses are less arrogant.

  12. I was diagnosed Aspergers early last July after extensive tests and evaluations over 6 days by various case workers, social workers, psychiatrists and finally a psychologist who gave me the diagnosis right before I was released from the mental health facility I was admitted to for telling my local police dispatch that my psychotic, brainless, alpha scum neighbors and their constant illegal fireworks detonations were making me feel suicidal(which was true).

    Anyway, the psychologist, in all his smug, professional self assurance convinced me that basically it was my fault for not getting along with people because I can’t read other people’s “non verbal cues”, and I accepted it. As insultingly simplistic as that sounds, I don’t put it past most “ordinary”, or “normal” people(or neurotypicals as they are known to us Aspies) to be that petty, that irrational, that impulsive in their decisions to condemn us because of such tiny faults in our makeup(of course, crippling shyness(due to realizing the “normal”, “neurotypical” people around me were batshit fucking insane) didn’t help me either), and I CERTAINLY don’t put it past most women, being the spaghetti brains the vast vast majority of them are these days.

    Before my diagnosis(and reading blogs like these), I actually cared what all the “neurotypical” creeps(who are the REAL creeps) actually thought about “40 year old virgins” like me(I’m 39 for a few more months), but the more I thought about it, the more I think I’d rather die pure and uncorrupted by evil Ameriskanks. Go ahead, Hollywood, make more “old male virgin, haha” movies. Go ahead, SNL, keep ripping apart us “evil white men” and traditional values while your ratings continue to plummet.

    I don’t need the prescriptions the shrinks put me on that made things worse, I take magnesium taurate & hops pills(over the counter and cheap; I take the hops also to repress sexual desire, too bad, skanks). I don’t need to be “assimilated” into low paying dead end jobs with asshole “neurotypical” bosses/co workers, I’ll wrk on running my own business, thanks(my ultimate dream is to buy and sell Mexican art at an obscene profit margin while living in sunny San Diego).

    • I check this blog from time to time because generally I find it an oasis from the insanity of retards like this(http://mattforney.com/2012/08/20/feminism-and-the-mens-rights-movement-as-ideological-autism/). How that moron can sit there and lump feminists/MRAs in the same boat and in the process speak in such a genocidally hateful manner against men with Aspergers(ASD) like myself reveals the true depth of the sickness of some “neurotypicals”. I don’t even know how to respond to this psychotic individual, and sure as hell will not be giving him my email address(of course in typical chickenshit nazi-like censoring fashion he won’t allow public comments on his supremacist diatribe). I don’t know how that nonsense ended up at the top of your comments today, and if it was put there by you to be directed at me I’d certainly love to know why, since I came here in support of this blog(and still support it). I know there was a man with Aspergers named “forweg” who was pretty rude to you a couple years ago(I read all the articles and comments), but that person isn’t me(he posted in 2011; I wasn’t diagnosed(thus didn’t even know I had Aspergers) until last July(2012).

      • It’s a wordpress pingback. If you check the link, it’s from a post that Forney wrote on his own blog last year. I don’t know why it showed up now, but I have seen hiccups like this in the wordpress system before. I don’t have any control over when pingbacks show up because they are generated by wordpress.

        • Probably some troll(or Forney) did it himself. Sorry I got a little paranoid….

  13. Women create an atmosphere where merely inviting a girl for coffee can get your name in the sex offender registry, then they naturally don’t approach men and when there are men not approaching women they call it Aspergers. Funny heh…

    I have been pepper sprayed just for asking the train routes to a chick, call me whatever.

    • In college(early-mid ’90s) I got death stares from the inbred cunts just for holding doors open! I blame them and their spineless, mindless male sycophants directly for my plight; but I sure do thank them for the $1000/month in disability benefits my midlife crisis brought me(I MIGHT now avert eventual homelessness). I’ve been watching, and they’ve been everywhere on the internet for nearly 20 years, getting all sanctimonious, blaming their victims, bullying the “guys living in their parents basements”, the guys THEY created…..fuckem’, let them all get killed in combat, fighting for “Muricuh”; their “Rome” can’t come crashing down on their heads FAST enough. How did we get $16 trillion in debt??? HINT, for nearly 50 years wealthy, white knight appeasers in government(beginning with President Vietnam) got all the neurotypical “alpha” thugs/white trash in our society their welfare checks for making their little “alpha” babies, and the rest(the GOOD people) are “Aspergers”(we weren’t intended).

  14. “Because our feminized society is trying to free women from responsibility completely and force it on men.”

    This sums it up right here. If you talk to her like an adult, you are a creep. If you talk to her like a brainless alpha, you are fucking golden(this a broad generalization, but I’m sure you understand what I mean). Not only that when you are labeled in the first category she gets free reign to spread rumors about you to everyone in the general vicinity. Men in that vicinity will then be on her side, rather than yours. Its fucking insane. Ive experienced this first hand on many occasions. Even had a girl in college tell all of my professors and everyone on campus that I was stalking her, and even threatened to call the police on me. This is because she did not show up for three straight meetings that she was the president of. So I sent her a text (no one else gave a rats ass) asking where she was. Lo and behold that is considered stalking these days, and I was treated like a bad apple from then on, for holding her accountable.

    Not only that if you discuss anything other than beer, boobs, or sports you can be labeled as a conspiracy theorist(not the crazy zionist mind control jewish david icke nonsense), loner, or any other rambling lunatic. The manospherists say they are all for propping up men, but if they can they will step on a brothers toes. As soon as they find out you are not getting laid you are treated like a subhuman. Its a damned if you do, damned if you don’t attitude. There is no respect for the inherent value of a human being. They are the female version of feminists.

    What it really boils down to is any and all semblance of civilization has been destroyed. There’s no longer any discourse in any realm, and it always comes back to some bullshit about the white male being bad, or how that guys not getting laid. Not only that if anyone asks a simple question that does not toe the party line its considered an assertion of your dissent.

    You probably have “Aspergers”. The bitterness is a hallmark trait. Ive been labeled “Aspergers” by many, and refuse to see a psychologist because Ive read the Orwellian DSM, and many a piece of literature on it. I’m not a virgin though, but that’s because the “Aspergers” helped with hacking a certain social scene and gives off the illusion of an “Alpha”. Generally not giving a fuck either helps. Not trying to toot my horn, but the bullshit is stacked so high its past the point of no return.

    • As a 41 year old white male with officially-diagnosed PDD-NOS(informally “aspergers”), your example is exactly why the “spectrum” of autism needs to be narrowed significantly(ie: no one claiming to be able to “hack into” alpha traits in order to “get laid” should ever, by any stretch, be put into a category with people whose real autism consigns them to a lifetime on disability, no employment & complete social isolation due to being helplessly surrounded by the sick society you mention. Frankly I don’t care about women(or life) at this point. Anyway, take it from me, you’re not autistic. True autists(myself) don’t “get laid”; that’s why there are very few true autists(like myself) left. We are almost extinct. At least I know, through sensing my inner spirit, that there is eternity & that I will be rewarded for my needless suffering; otherwise I would actually care about this stupid world & all of the stupid people in it.

  15. To anyone with a negative attitude towards women & feminism, as in some of the above comments: Firstly, I just want to point out that there are likely just as many women with Aspergers as there are men. Some researchers think they are diagnosed less often because problems aren’t usually manifested in such obvious ways as males, such as becoming aggressive at school, thus leading to a diagnosis. It is also thought that girls try & mask their aspergers/try & fit in/copy neurotypical behaviour from an early age, & with practice, many succeed at overcoming (or at least hiding) most of the issues. I believe this, since I think females are generally expected to have decent social abilities, be considerate & caring, function as ‘nurturers’ etc (a deficiency in these areas is generally the biggest concern voiced by the partners of males who have Aspergers). Girls/women learn fast that they will not be accepted if they don’t address these issues. Males will often be allowed to ‘get away with’ a lot more, because they are not expected to be adept in these areas, as females are, so many don’t feel the need to work on their issues so much, so they don’t reach their potential to function as ‘normally’ as possible. I believe I have mild Aspergers (would have got diagnosis for sure as a kid + my brother has it & of course it runs strongly in families), but only those who know me very well would notice anything. I score only borderline now, but I think this is because I have tried very hard all my life to go against my true personality & have just learnt from & copied neurotypicals. I still find many social niceties come unnaturally to me. eg. why can’t I just state what I want, politely, sometimes, without having to act bubbly/smiling constantly. It’s so draining! however, people often become visibly offended (often to a surprising extent, make comments in shops etc)if I don’t..I envy the ‘nerdy or shy guys’ who don’t seem to get into trouble with people if they aren’t overly friendly. I am a women, & very attractive, & I think this is why people just find me unacceptable if I don’t put on the act… I’m good at the act, but I could easily say (as many guys would) ‘why should I?’ well, maybe I wouldn’t, but I simply can’t get away with it, as they can. Women have traditionally been expected to be ‘people pleasers’, Men not so much. I think this is something we are taught, not a biological difference between men & women. People also do not accept the fact that I prefer to stay single (I must be an unhappy, desperate women who can’t get a man -I’m in my 30s – rather than an eligible bachelor who is happy that way). I’m single quite simply because I have always been happier when I’m single, love my own company, am independent & prefer not to have the dramas of a relationship (I might bother again one day – doubt it though -but only if it is someone I really like, but I haven’t met any such guy in a long time, though guys often like me) & when I look around me, so many relationships end up in heart ache anyway. Oh, & if I don’t feel the same way about many of the guys who are interested in me, does that really make me evil? (an earlier post seemed to suggest this). How can I make myself attracted to someone when I’m just not? also, my advice to guys who can’t find a woman: make an effort with your appearance, clothes, stand up straight, head up, eye contact, be romantic, do little things to show you care, like getting flowers sometimes. Don’t listen to silly advice on men’s sites about being rude. No women I know are attracted to this (some may be, who are either stupid or have been abused & find it familiar). i want to know a guy is reliable, caring, family orientated, respectful & decent. Of course I like someone with confidence, but not arrogance. If any readers are really having trouble, I think you couldn’t go wrong by learning martial arts. Most women would find this attractive & it is good for confidence, self defense, health & your looks (if anyone thinks women are evil for caring about looks, bear in mind it is actually most guys that rate looks as the most important thing they are looking for in a partner!) Importantly, try actually asking women out more…so few guys do this these days, I find it refreshing & would respect someone for being brave enough, as long as it is in a sincere way. ps. be careful about in what situation you are asking a women out. There are norms about this, bars are ok & if it is someone you know through someone else/work, gym etc it is usually ok. However, most women will be wary of a stranger/ man approaching them in a park, on the street. That’s because it’s not conventional to try & meet a woman that way so, from my experience, these guys often turn out to not be ‘normal’, but flashers or abusive in some way, verbally or physically. I’ve met literally hundreds of weirdos (mostly flashers, but quite a few more aggressive/scary ones) like this, especially when a lot younger, when I had to get public transport. Being small & pretty also attracts them. Many other women will have had experiences like mine, so bear that in mind if any have ever told you to ‘F off’ even as you’ve approached, that could be why. Of course they shouldn’t do this – I always give someone the benefit of the doubt before telling them to leave me alone- but I guess some women have just had enough. Hope this is of help for anyone who has trouble understanding today’s women.

    • first off, google neckbeard, then google Nice Guy ™ –just look at how feminists hate on low status men, And they always have, look at how they would call men pigs. Feminism is a hate movement. As far as your view on relationships, that’s fine by me and not really all that different towards mine.

      Anyways huge blocks of text rock.

    • “girls try & mask their aspergers/try & fit in/copy neurotypical behaviour from an early age, & with practice, many succeed at overcoming (or at least hiding) most of the issues.”

      This is a perfect example to point to as to why Aspergers/Autism Spectrum Disorder is mostly a male phenomenon. That “many” girls “succeed”, like you suggest, at overcoming what qualified psychologists in the mental health field rightly recognize as trademark inherent communication deficits in recognizing other people’s nonverbal cues is proof positive that most girls(even ones claiming to have Aspergers) don’t truly have it, which is why they don’t get diagnosed with it often. When you have an inherent neurology that lends itself to an inability to process non-verbal communication cues noticeable enough to be legitimately diagnosed(by a qualified, licensed psychologist & not some unofficial, online “Are You Aspergers”-type test) then it’s hardly a matter of “practicing” to “overcome” such innate social disadvantages since that part of the brain which can recognize & alleviate those social disadvantages is effectively missing in the true legit spectrum individual(usually(almost always) male). That said, I’m of the opinion that the so-called increase in Aspergers(autism spectrum) diagnosis’ is perhaps not so much due to any increase in those with the genuine, inherent, classic Aspergers traits, but rather perhaps a less-stringent qualification for what constitutes “Aspergers” brought about perhaps as a rather unfortunate side effect of rather unreasonable, ever-increasing expectations regarding what is considered “normal” or “neurotypical” when it comes to socializing with other people in the modern world. Granted these are just my opinions from my view as a early-40s male afflicted life-long with rather severe & debilitating Autism Spectrum Disorder/PDD-NOS/Aspergers & also from what I know to be officially accepted about the condition from those trained & licensed in the mental health profession & so I’m not meaning to have a debate in order to “back up” any “facts” you think I may be “required” to “prove”, if that’s what you intend(I’m not making assumptions there).

      “females are generally expected to have decent social abilities, be considerate & caring, function as ‘nurturers’ etc (a deficiency in these areas is generally the biggest concern voiced by the partners of males who have Aspergers). Girls/women learn fast that they will not be accepted if they don’t address these issues. Males will often be allowed to ‘get away with’ a lot more, because they are not expected to be adept in these areas, as females are, so many don’t feel the need to work on their issues so much, so they don’t reach their potential to function as ‘normally’ as possible.”

      Irrelevant when, again, considering the unique, innate neurological defects of those notably impaired enough(through no control or personal fault of their own) to be legitimately placed on the classic spectrum of autism, which are generally those who should be, in a sympathetic world, mercifully immune from such bile as your apparent assertion that it’s “because men get away with it”, which only works if it’s a matter of choice(all choice taken away when talking about the legitimate, genetic neurological shortcomings of those on the spectrum).

      “I believe I have mild Aspergers (would have got diagnosis for sure as a kid + my brother has it & of course it runs strongly in families), but only those who know me very well would notice anything. I score only borderline now, but I think this is because I have tried very hard all my life to go against my true personality & have just learnt from & copied neurotypicals.”

      If even an unofficial score(which is what I’m presuming you’re referring to) puts you “borderline”, to the point where you can effectively “copy neurotypicals”, then, trust me, you are not on the spectrum, not even mildly so(at least you shouldn’t be considered so by any psychologist with any professional credibility).

      “I envy the ‘nerdy or shy guys’ who don’t seem to get into trouble with people if they aren’t overly friendly.”

      I’m completely confident in asserting that your knowledge of the day-to-day life of your typical “nerdy or shy guys” is quite off if you are meaning to suggest those guys you speak of are on the spectrum. Rather quite the opposite is what a typical Spectrum male will tell you(but then, you’ve likely never even met, let alone talked to one of those, I bet).

      “I think this is something we are taught, not a biological difference between men & women.”

      Neurology states otherwise.

      Now, as far as the rest of your post, referencing what men do have varying degree of control over(such as physical attributes/positive appearance pointers which can be worked on to, again, varying degrees, depending on one’s position in the autism spectrum(if applicable) or other individual limitations or lack thereof), basically I’m not one to discount at least some validity in those things, assuming of course those things aren’t at all(or to any noticeable degree anyway) negatively compromised by the individual male’s innate neurology(particularly when it reveals classic autistic limitations).

  16. Actually I did a more in depth on line Asperger quiz last night (the one Gavin Bollard thinks is best) & scored 151/200, so result says It’s extremely likely I do have Aspergers, & not mild (& would likely be diagnosed if I sought a formal diagnosis, which I don’t) I think this quiz gets at the ‘real you’ more, rather than what you are capable of, like the other quiz I did.

    Not conned, you seem to be making assumptions about me, when you don’t actually know me. I think the quiz is probably fairly accurate. I was a very odd child, with many characteristics of Aspergers, (didn’t like being touched -still don’t much- late speech, poor handwriting, stared inappropriately, rarely smiled, stubborn, had a longstanding special interest, birds, who I spent most of my time with etc) & mercilessly bullied by even my own siblings, when I wasn’t alone,which was most of the time. I was socially inept in many ways into my 20s & still can be, when tired or stressed. I’ve had trouble in my workplace in my 20s, a couple of times a real problem, basically because some bully decided I wasn’t friendly enough to others (I always tried to be pleasant & was mostly well liked, especially when people got to know me, but I didn’t always manage to smile/greet people in a friendly enough way, apparently) & tried to get others against me, without too much succes, but enough to be unpleasant & I left one place due to this. I’m more careful about being more friendly than is natural to me now. Also, When I say I worked hard at improving my social skills, I did, but part of the practice was simply the fact that I’ve worked in jobs since I was 15 that required me to deal with people constantly. If I’d chosen to go into a scientific field, which I nearly did, I would not be as good socially. Also, if I’d let myself just stay home, reading about black holes etc (always prefer to be alone actually), & didn’t get myself out & socializing, to dance classes etc, I’d likely have poorer social skills. Obviously there are varying degrees of autism, but most people with it will be able to overcome difficulties to a certain extent, depending how much help they get, especially from an early age, how hard they work at it/are exposed to social learning situations. The fact that most people with Aspergers improve/learn to mask many of their symptoms as they get older, supports this. I’ve also read that, in many cases of Aspergers, it is the compensatory behaviours that a person has developed that are often the biggest problem. For me, I think the ‘God syndrome’ (1 of 4) would be the worst one to cope with in a relationship; someone who will never admitt they are wrong or take the blame for anything, & doesn’t see why they should try or change for anyone, even though their actions make their partner unhappy & they expect their partner to adapt to them. This is to do with the attitude one has chosen to adopt to cope & the way one is brought up. I think it is illogical & really not sure why someone couldn’t work that out intellectually. I knew I was different & my attitude was always, try & be as normal as possible, just fit in(I’m strongly my own person outside of superficial situations though) & make life easier for myself & of course I don’t like to offend/upset anyone (I think it’s important to remember that Neurotypicals often aren’t going to know a person has Asperger’s or even what that is, so will naturally get offended by certain behaviour, if they don’t understand) I think this attitude is common for women with Aspergers (because they are often highly motivated by society expectations that they be capable socially) but the men who choose it tend to do a lot better also. I know a 40 yo guy who is diagnosed with Aspergers who has an excellent job & nothing to tell you he might have Aspergers unless you were his girlfriend or otherwise very close. There are plenty of men & women who have been formally diagnosed like this. ?milder Aspergers ?worked on social skills more. Probably both. Or maybe you think, this guy shouldn’t have a diagnosis of Aspergers, since he is capable of hiding it from most, as I do & many women do?

    As for my likely not having met anyone on the spectrum, as I said, my brother has a severe case of what I think is Aspergers (it’s affected his life a lot,he’s highly qualified but can’t get a job in his field, never had a girlfriend at 40 yo etc) & I’ve always been very close to him. I’ve also always got along well with his ‘geeky’ friends & I have a few of these of my own, feel very comfortable with people like this, as long as they don’t make negative assumptions about me because of my being attractive & well dressed (& many do, untill they get to know me & some won’t try & do this). Also, when I said I envy the ‘geeky’ guys for not getting trouble for not being friendly enough, the context was that it annoys me that I can’t have a superficial interaction, like in a shop, without being expected to besuper-friendly, whereas I think guys (in general actually) often can. I’m sure ‘geeky’ guys/any guys need to be friendly in other situations though, like asking someone on a date, & I certainly never said I envy ‘geeky’ guys all the other aspects of their lives.

    • “Actually I did a more in depth on line Asperger quiz last night (the one Gavin Bollard thinks is best) & scored 151/200, so result says It’s extremely likely I do have Aspergers, & not mild (& would likely be diagnosed if I sought a formal diagnosis, which I don’t) I think this quiz gets at the ‘real you’ more, rather than what you are capable of, like the other quiz I did.”

      While that, in a comparison to other online Aspergers quizzes, may rank high, until you see a licensed professional to legally obtain a diagnosis, you can hardly imagine(or predict) what an actual, trained, qualified mental health professional might say. For instance, the rigorous testing I underwent which led to my official autism spectrum diagnosis by a highly-skilled psychologist, I’d roughly estimate, added up to around 1000 questions, many of which I had to think long and hard prior to answering, thus it took me the better part of 3 days to complete the questions….but I was wholly committed to the process, as I was legitimately in a tough situation with my life then & was doing whatever necessary to look for answers(help), and I did so, and thus was able to be properly diagnosed & thus get the help that I so desperately needed, even though I struggle greatly with my autistic neurological makeup & likely will until my dying day(against my best wishes, but what can be done at this point).

      “Not conned, you seem to be making assumptions about me, when you don’t actually know me.”

      Due to my initial impression from reading your first post, in which a lot of the details about your past which you added here were left out, I’ll admit to some miscalculations. It definitely looks as if you suffered/experienced quite a few of the unfortunate childhood/young adult hardships that would be typical of a classic Asperger; I had many of those as well.

      “Obviously there are varying degrees of autism, but most people with it will be able to overcome difficulties to a certain extent, depending how much help they get, especially from an early age, how hard they work at it/are exposed to social learning situations. The fact that most people with Aspergers improve/learn to mask many of their symptoms as they get older, supports this.”

      Yes, maybe most on the spectrum(especially the high end) can improve somewhat due to certain situations, abilities to mask & so forth, but then the question is, I think, is whether those people who might have had pasts more resembling a diagnosable spectrum past, but not so much in the present time, be considered presently autistic, especially if they’re adept enough at masking any residual traits that it has no noticeable debilitating effect on their ability to lead productive, happy, regular lives.

      “in many cases of Aspergers, it is the compensatory behaviours that a person has developed that are often the biggest problem. For me, I think the ‘God syndrome’ (1 of 4) would be the worst one to cope with in a relationship; someone who will never admitt they are wrong or take the blame for anything, & doesn’t see why they should try or change for anyone, even though their actions make their partner unhappy & they expect their partner to adapt to them. This is to do with the attitude one has chosen to adopt to cope & the way one is brought up. I think it is illogical & really not sure why someone couldn’t work that out intellectually”

      Probably because in that particular example(which is hardly typical of spectrum people in general, nor hardly exclusive to just autists, as many neurotypicals suffer it also), that person, if on the spectrum, might not consciously intend on acting out/coping that way, due to, what I alluded to prior, would be noticeable afflictions in that individual’s neurological makeup. So while, yes, one is perfectly entitled to not stay in a relationship with a “God complex” partner, that doesn’t, in itself, lend credibility to any assumption that such negative behavior is intentional by the spectrum individual, though it may very well be intentional(aka a sign of a narcissistic personality) if the person isn’t an autist.

      “Neurotypicals often aren’t going to know a person has Asperger’s or even what that is, so will naturally get offended by certain behaviour, if they don’t understand)”

      And that is why education/awareness is so important. In other words, it shouldn’t be assumed that non-autists bear absolutely no responsibility to broaden their perspective & learn as well from the autistic community about our perspectives of life & so forth. Humans today, by and large, extend that basic courtesy(and have done so, continue to do so & will always do so) for every other presumed minority & disadvantaged group in history, so why not autists? Why should autists be the only ones that are told we have to do all the grunt work to accommodate a bunch of ignorant, entitlement-minded neurotypicals? Well, being in a disadvantaged category, I call shenanigans to that, so excuse me.

      ” I know a 40 yo guy who is diagnosed with Aspergers who has an excellent job & nothing to tell you he might have Aspergers unless you were his girlfriend or otherwise very close. There are plenty of men & women who have been formally diagnosed like this. ?milder Aspergers ?worked on social skills more. Probably both. Or maybe you think, this guy shouldn’t have a diagnosis of Aspergers, since he is capable of hiding it from most, as I do & many women do?”

      Well, yes(or maybe, I don’t know all of his particulars), since, like you say, he masks it effectively enough to apparently not have it impede significantly from enjoying a highly successful life from the sounds of it(excellent job, girlfriend), even though, like you said, he was(key being was) certainly(at one time) qualified for the diagnosis(being that he was diagnosed). I guess I’m more thinking about the other Aspergers a bit farther down the spectrum, living on disability, not employed, or maybe at best past timers(90+% of those on the autism spectrum in America are typically underemployed or unemployed, and yes that includes aspergers, like myself), people that have to live with their parents at say age 40, people that have never been in & have no hope of ever being in a relationship. I just don’t think the gravity of our rather unfortunate situations should be put in jeopardy of being marginalized by the self-classification of “Aspergers” by, say, a tech making $80,000/year in Silicon Valley that can mask away his residual spectrum traits & thus enjoy intimacy no less than your typical garden-variety alpha male(not assuming that’s your friend necessarily). That is what I’m disputing there, and yes I think it’s a very valid concern as someone that still struggles greatly to this day with being on the spectrum(which I’m not hesitant to admit, whether or not that’s “cool” for me to do so in these comments or elsewhere on the internet or in life).

      “As for my likely not having met anyone on the spectrum, as I said, my brother has a severe case of what I think is Aspergers (it’s affected his life a lot,he’s highly qualified but can’t get a job in his field, never had a girlfriend at 40 yo etc)”

      Those particulars about his life weren’t mentioned in your first post, so in that case I stand corrected. He’s about as afflicted as I am by the sounds of it(at least anyways).

      “Also, when I said I envy the ‘geeky’ guys for not getting trouble for not being friendly enough, the context was that it annoys me that I can’t have a superficial interaction, like in a shop, without being expected to besuper-friendly, whereas I think guys (in general actually) often can.”

      Yes, alpha-like guys mainly(that can pull off the whole jaded, “bad boy” persona to excellence), but hardly the case as much for “geeky” guys, who have a much harder time overall, especially in comparison to the 1st example, thus they shouldn’t all be broad brushed together as the “guys in general” in your example, and yes you’re certainly right that the lives of “geeky guys” are normally not enviable in the least(well not unless they can obtain “excellent jobs” & thus excellent girlfriends). I don’t know who those “geeky guys” are in your life, who may just be regular neurotypical geeks(or rather just pretentious hipster douchebags) by the sounds of it if they exhibit that sort of narcissistic attitude toward you & won’t accept you unless you do “this, this & this”. That sounds a lot more like neurotypical entitlement attitude to me.

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