103 comments on “Just Not Getting It

  1. Well, hell, this is an easy one, W & N.

    Which is better: to believe that you’ve won the genetic & social lottery, or to believe that you’re a Sex Ninja Supa-Stud? And that goes double for thinking that all those other guys, just like you, who got nailed, they were *obviously* some kind of weirdo loser who totally deserved it.

    I say give it ten years and this guys going to be on those guys writing on MRA boards on how he got screwed on his divorce and never even saw it coming. Chump.

  2. Paying for sex takes half the enjoyment out of it, the other half is knowing that a woman actually wants it and is not just being paid for it.

    Then again, men pay for sex in one way or another right?

  3. This is something that really pissed me off when I was younger.

    I would not just get turned down – I would get “told off” – very abrasively most of them time too.

    Then of course, people would blame me (the man) for not having a girlfriend.

    If they could have witnessed first hand what would happen when I would approach a woman – I am guessing that most of them would have been mortified.

    read about it here:


    Those are a small slice of what I experienced in my youth. A very representative slice too.

  4. I actually agree with Workshy Joe on this one. W&N, the thing you have to realize about game is that the game advertised by PUAs is designed for 8s, 9s and 10s. So if you use this kind of game on 4s, 5s and 6s, they will reject you just to protect their ego. If you use it on 8s, 9s and 10s, they will reject you as well because you aren’t meeting their looks requirements.

    The best thing for omega males to do in my opinion is go girls around their looks and height range. So if you’re a 5, go for a woman that is a 5. If you’re 5’6, go for a woman that is 5’4 or shorter. However, throw out everything you know about PUA game and just focus on the little things that go a long way.

    Focus on promoting an upright posture, using confident body language, a strong tone of voice and most importantly demonstrating a high level of social skills! If you aren’t doing the above things right, then get working on them now because any guy no matter who they are can improve them. Even average guys or good looking guys will fail with women if they do not have these basic skills that I noted above.

    If you master the above skills, you will be able to get a woman that is in your looks and height range, but don’t expect to get a woman that is better unless you have a superhuman ability in those skills.

    • “The best thing for omega males to do in my opinion is go girls around their looks and height range. So if you’re a 5, go for a woman that is a 5. If you’re 5’6, go for a woman that is 5’4 or shorter. However, throw out everything you know about PUA game and just focus on the little things that go a long way.”

      I agree that the “solution” solves the problem for omega males. But how about omega males accepting not being settled for in the first place? The idea of “you’ll do” is an evil belief. Because that simply means that you are not seen as a human being – just a means to an end “so that somebody isn’t lonely”.

      How about this for a theory: the people who understand justice, are those who have suffered much injustice.
      By that same token, the omega males are the ones who probably understand relationships enough to say they know how to treat a girl properly…
      but are then shafted by girls who think the only guy worthy of their affection – is a guy that thinks she isn’t worth the long term.
      Talk about irony.

      • In a way, a girl that is a 5 with another guy that is a 5 is also is in a way settling in the first place as well. Every guy wants a hot 10 supermodel and every girl wants a hot alpha male guy, but in the end we all got to settle for something less. In the end, the great equalizing force is other more important things such as personality.

        If you don’t want to get married, that’s fine considering the legal problems in this feminist society , but you don’t have to deprive yourself of relationships either emotional or sexual if that’s what you want. However, I agree with your point about omega males being ignored by women. The best solution to that is to simply fake it until you make it.

        • “In a way, a girl that is a 5 with another guy that is a 5 is also is in a way settling in the first place as well. Every guy wants a hot 10 supermodel and every girl wants a hot alpha male guy, but in the end we all got to settle for something less. In the end, the great equalizing force is other more important things such as personality.”

          I hope so… but one thing seems weird. The girl that is a 5 is “settling” for a guy that is interested in something long-term and honest with her? Yeah, that’s settling all right.
          I’m sorry to say but the idea of female 10’s “settling” is very different from male 10’s “settling”.
          Female 10’s “settling” = men usually lower on the looks scale to cherish her and build a future with.
          Men 10’s “settling” = females who can tolerate their indiscretions.
          Seems to me, every step of the way the men are being shafted.
          Men without looks, having to declare their “love” to a girl that is always going to see you as something less since you don’t match up to the alpha(that left her);
          Men with a relationship, having to know that the girlfriend is with him only because of his long-term utility.
          I have to point out that in both situations, a man with very little to no relationship experience (and this plays out in many modern marriage now) is getting married to an experienced, discarded woman.
          If there’s any settling being done, it’s on the man’s side.

        • I see your point, but call me idealistic I still think there are some good women out there that are untainted by multiple relationships, you just got to have an eye out for them as they’re usually young and stay away from the experienced women looking to settle down. Of course you’ll need solid game if you want any chance with them.

        • Wait – are you saying that one shouldn’t settle at all in life? WTF? Are you serious? Have you never settled, for anything?

        • For the most important choice of your life, where 90% of your happiness or misery comes from, and most of your financial well-being in a circumstance within your control… YES. You should never “settle” for someone to marry.

          Are YOU serious, JJ, in saying that you must?

        • @P Ray:

          Yes, you must settle for the fact that you will unlikely sire 10 kids with Halle Berry or Charlize Theron. Or the fact that you will never likely marry some European princess. And sorry to break this to you.

        • I didn’t say I wanted 10 kids with Halle Berry and Charlize Theron. They’ve had way too many relationships for me to believe anything with them was going to be authentic.
          Don’t need that kind of “experienced” woman “settling” for a lifetime of love with me, thanks.

  5. to the author of this blog….. what do u look like? describe urself physically in as much detail as u can. If u want to get laid, dont underestimate YOUR LOOKS! Game does work, but ONLY TO THE EXTENT WITH WHICH THE WOMAN IS ATTRACTED TO U (unless u play the numbers game like a freak, but that imo is PATHETIC and similiar to begging. Most puas play the numbers game and either lose their minds, or get lucky a few times and call themselves, “gurus”…. PATHETIC. However there exists, imo, about MAYBE 1-3% of guys who can get women with game ALONE, but this is not taught thru seminars, it is a talent that is built in them since childhood, and ultimately BECOMES their true personality)

  6. JJ says:
    “Do you have any success at work or school? Did you tell the teacher that her test “wasn’t right” when you were in grade school?”

    Yup, have my B.Sc in Computer Science. Thanks for playing,sir! I have told teachers that have been corrupt (surprise! They do exist, the people who grade you but are dishonest… since when have teachers been infallible like Gods? you’re making a false analogy), that I can succeed without them, and I have.
    Don’t steer it into extreme territory there. I am trying to point out to you that the premises are false.

    “There is desire and there is insanity. Raising a family with a caring person is a desire. Wanting to *have the option* of siring 10 children with Halle Berry or Charlize Theron is insanity.”
    You brought it the actress idea; I didn’t. And it seems that wanting to raise a family with a caring person is now insanity; many women are very self-centred.
    You can’t make a family with grandmothers and those under the legal age of consent; those women are the exceptions to the many.

    • I would also like to point out that the success someone has whether financial, educational or sports, does not make a crazy claim valid; neither does it make a valid claim crazy.
      The fact that many people seem fit to shame W&N (and me) for the ideas on this page are an indicator that some idea desperately needs protecting.

      That’s okay. Galileo was only given a formal “apology” by the Vatican (who are so-called never wrong) in the last few decades.

  7. W&N is trying to maintain the authenticity that many people (myself included) want to have in a relationship – the character that speaks to the honesty and openness valued by people who want a lasting relationship. And you don’t achieve that by becoming the silver tongued, don’t-care-less player. Neither do you achieve that by becoming Mr. Emotionless.

    “1. Game?
    Doesn’t exist acording to him.”
    Game doesn’t exist for people who don’t know how much jackassery they can get away with. If someone is already considered creepy and has his character murdered by relational aggression, jackassery is just going to add negatively to that reputation. You’ll find that negs are used most by people who want to be both mysterious and seem valuable(as in my time is valuable, be glad you are talking to me). The people who want honest relationships don’t act in that way.

    “2. Celibacy?
    No, he feels ENTITLED to a girlfriend. Its in the Constitution apparently.”
    Reverse the genders. It has become frequent news that women feel entitled to a boyfriend. Somehow that is okay? It’s sexism… but nobody seems to call women out on that.

    “3. Prostitutes?
    No, he thinks that will lead to a prison sentence and ass rape. LOL…wut?
    Two words: RENO, NEVADA.
    A prison record for whatever reason will make future jobs that perform background checks, difficult to apply for. If you don’t plan on your past being brought up, or you are a person that doesn’t take your reputation seriously, I suppose living like that is an option.

    “4. Improving his looks?
    Women shouldn’t be so SHALLOW as to care about his personal grooming, styling, clothes, muscularity, etc.”
    It’s amazing how many inmates have girlfriends who’d do anything to be with them — even if they committed crimes against their girlfriends.

    “Ruling out the four suggestions above, I got NOTHING. But then again, neither does he.”
    I get the idea that the women that want decent men, WANT THEM ONLY WHEN THEY CAN NO LONGER PULL THE BAD BOYS.

    Who wants to be second choice? And remember, choosing a life of commitment, does NOT mean that the woman is being made a second choice, from the male point of view. The divorce laws have made that abundantly clear — no matter what shrew of a woman she turns into after marriage, she can easily destroy your life after.
    So no, I don’t think men are “settling” for women in those circumstances.
    But a lot of women are “settling” on men they plan on later destroying.

    • Actually I am starting to see it now that the reason women don’t want men who are educated, is the horror that they might have to help in paying off that man’s student loans ALONG WITH THEIR OWN. Of course, the man helping to pay off her student loans, that goes unsaid.

      Maybe this goes some way to explain the reason why women who seem to be moving on up in the world “prefer losers”. It’s easy to admire the guy without an education who gets the hot girl… but he looks like a loser, a _REAL LOSER_, when he is paying off her student loan until she gets a better offer.

      And with regards to the US, I believe revised laws have made it such that bankruptcy doesn’t discharge you from your student loans.

    • No legal brothels in Reno or Las Vegas. You have to go out into the hinterlands in one of the ten counties where it is legal (including the one in which I live).

      I don’t think any of you really understand the premise of this blog. W&N accepts his celibacy, but objects to the government’s effort to starve him through preferential policies for women getting jobs and otherwise competing with men, as well as defining sexual harassment as whatever she says it is, whenever she says it happened, and by whoever she says did it.

      • Sestamibi, you understand. Workshy Joe doesn’t because he’s a mangina using the same old shaming tactics. (Why can’t they come up with anything new?)

        I’m much more concerned about women stealing or attempting to steal my money, job, and/or freedom than getting laid. Women have declared war on me, and they haven’t stopped so I can’t stop defending myself if I don’t want to end up in prison or dead.

        • The false rape society has a lot of information on how to foil such jokers. I recommend you read up on work laws applicable to your state. Such people deserve no quarter!

        • It was fifteen years ago this Saturday that I met my wife back in NJ. I thank God every day for my family and my blessings, but I lived too long the same life you do. Had that not happened to me, I would have taken the same measures you are doing.

          I pray that God will give you the strength to go the distance alone if you have you. You are a good man and don’t deserve all of this.

        • Sestamibi, thank you for your comment. It was a refreshing change from all the people who say I should be put in prison because women say so, that there’s something wrong with me because women say so, or that my anger is wrong because it’s the result of women’s actions towards me.

          It’s clear that I’m going to have to go it alone. I have no other options. It’s almost impossible to find someone who is willing to say, “You are a good man and don’t deserve all of this.” who hasn’t been a very long term involuntary virgin. I have friends who understand but the reason why we’re friends is that we have no other place to go. My family of course doesn’t understand it and my family is really only my parents so that means sooner or later I will be going it alone in a very real sense. And it’s not just going it alone. It’s fighting a war for my survival alone.

          I’m glad you were able to find what you found, Sestamibi.

        • I hope you find someone W & N or at the very least find happiness by being alone because no one deserves to live a unhappy life of solitarity. To be fair though, I’m sure there are women that are very unattractive that in your position as well. Of course, there are more men in this position that get the short end of the stick as a result of hypergamy and women having the ability to choose.

        • To be fair though, I’m sure there are women that are very unattractive that in your position as well.

          I hear this a lot but it’s always worded like that. You’re “certain” that women in my position exist but you can’t find a real example.

        • Go google the words “Lonely Paul” and you’ll find out that there is a woman who called the cop station 3 times in the middle of the night after being driven out of her wits by the lack of companionship in her life. She’s a regular-looking middle aged woman.

        • How would you know that she only wanted alphas and had betas orbiting her? I think you’re being a little presumptuous here.

  8. I agree with you in most points. But would never pay for sex, and i am definitely Omega!
    (Aspergers, never had a real job, no friends, no driving licence…)

    I think there were periods in my life where I would better have visited a decent prostitute, because the longing nearly drove me mad. Nevertheless I didnt do it, I simply had no possibility to do it unseen (living at home). But today, I can say that I will never pay for sex – with a high certainity. Because I discovered Taoism and Karezza, which gave me a whole new look at love. I e.g. can “suck” the energy out of the pelvis up into the head (Deer Exercise, Cool Draw etc.) At the state of you being possible to do such things, visiting a prostitute would only by some kind of better masturbation.

    Only a few years ago, my unsatisfied sex drive nearly brought me to the judge. At least I didnt really harm anyone, but it simply was awkward.

    But with my meditations and exercises i now learnt controlling my sex drive, instead of it controlling me. It takes some discipline and patience, but aren´t that attributes we omegas all have? It is very satisfying to finally be able to invert our handicaps (dominating super-ego making us waverers) to skills here sometime!

  9. ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ…. somewhere in this world there must be a mangina who can argue without reverting to shaming language.

    Oh right – that would require actually listening to what people are saying. Here is the news: what men are complaining about is actual bad behaviour. W&N could spend all day dressed as a smurf and dye his hair orange but that wouldn’t justify some hag trying to stick him with a false sexual harassment suite. And no, even a key to the Playboy Mansion and one to one tuition by Mystery won’t help him with that.

    Men are entitled? You bet we are. We’re entitled to go about out business free of the risk of verbal abuse and bogus charges . That’s not happening and unless and until you’ve had to deal with near-career derailment at the hands of Ms Loony, stick your shaming language and you’re panacea cures.

    • The commitment and responsibilities and resultant financial devastation should a divorce – which is mostly female initiated – occur, makes men being entitled perfectly rational.
      If it was reversed women would be screaming bloody murder.

      Man choosing to be with a single woman for life = woman “settling”.
      That’s some funny thinking right there, especially when women are the ones who complain about not liking men who cheat.
      Unless of course they mean, not liking men who cheat who don’t find them to be the #1 girlfriend… 🙂

  10. Okay, now I see what’s going on. P Ray (and quite possibly the author W&N) resent what most other men also experience but aren’t resentful about.

    Let’s break it down.

    I think we can all agree with R Pay (and W&N)’s contention that: (a) most men must settle for women they do not consider ideal; and (b) if not, they would have to so drastically change their behavioral pattern that they can “no longer be themselves.”

    They conclude that (a) and (b) are not worth it.

    Most men conclude otherwise. Hence, most men “sacrifice their integrity in the eyes of P Ray and W&N” and have active sex lives; and P Ray and W&N get to keep their integrity and stay away from active sex lives.

    Who are we to judge? If that works for them, it works for them. Here’s the question – why do they complain about this?

    • It’s a complaint that you can’t deal with, so you have to silence it. Why do you care so much? What’s in it for you?
      Afterall, you are “getting laid” so much, so why do you care?

      • Empathy? Don’t know about Workshy Joe but I for one do not “get laid” by many women. Not being loud and obnoxious I tend to fade into the background in most social occasions, but still I am befuddled by the frustration I am seeing here.

        Let me turn the question around – why do you complain so much? What’s in it for you?? Think hard before you answer this one.

        • I don’t know whether you need to think hard to realise that when you are a person being “settled for” you are essentially setting yourself up for endless demands that you can never match up to.
          What’s in it for me? Not living in an even worse hell — the hell of living up to somebody elses’ expectation.

          You think hard and answer now why people should so-called “man up” and learn to be just like you?

  11. Another reading comp fail. I asked you why you are complaining about having to settle. If you’ve already made up your mind it’s not worth it and am comfortable with your judgment (which presumably is well deliberated and sane) why do you complain?

    Listen. Life is unfair and we all live under constraint. I wish I were Yao Ming! How’s that for a cause of bitterness? To me it sounds more legit than yours.

    • Seriously. What’s wrong with having to live up up other people’s expectation? Did you not have parents? Have you not already had to live up to your employer’s expectations? What is the big deal?

      • I’m talking about living up to unrealistic expectations of somebody else that supposedly is the person who sees fit to marry you, then complains all the time about you.
        You have a reading comp. fail. (I am presuming that you have a qualification based around empirical observation, and logical conclusions).
        I’ve said what I need to, and right now since the board displays the person who speaks last, why don’t you go right ahead, JJ. I’m sure you’ll do a bang-up job of putting down Omega Men even further, or make them feel even worse (or hang on, is it just me that you feel you need to address all the time: I’m honoured!).

  12. Here’s a man who has dealt with his singlehood in a healthy way.

    From a 47 year old possible virgin, a comment from another site:

    “Many come to the conclusion that living alone is more rewarding than lowering their standards, depending on how far they would have to lower them. The same process applies equally to both sexes.

    I am a 47 year old man, Never married. Never been in love. Not gay. Short and butt ugly. Good career I enjoy. I could never interest any decent looking women. Only women as unattractive as me would ever have anything to do with me datewise. I spent over fifteen years being frustrated. I’m glad that period of my life, at least regarding the romantic side, is long past me. I have no intention of marrying and living with a woman of similar attractiveness.

    I have never felt “entitled” to a woman better looking than me. I have never felt a victim of anything. I am happy being single and comfortable with my situation. I have so many other things to be thankful for in my life. I have built a happy life around this because I knew from an early age (at mid 20s) that I would likely be a lifelong bachelor.

    This problem only becomes a real problem when someone feels cheated because of their situation and the choices they make as a result and then they let that frustration ruin other parts of their life. It’s ok not to settle, but it is not ok to blame someone else, or the system, for the consequences of your choices.

    If I felt bitter about being alone (alone I am, but almost never lonely), then my only moral option would be to lower my standards (in my case, really lower them) in order to end my bachelorhood, and force myself to like it. So far, I am anything but bitter about this.”

  13. Re: this idea that you can “go it alone” and be just fine. Some people can do it, others can’t. Obviously if you’re writing a blog frustrated by your virginity, going it alone isn’t going to work. Some people can live without companionship, others can’t. It’s kind of narrow minded to try and push everyone into the same box.

    Also, the suffering caused by misandry is very real, and is not fixed by just avoiding women romantically, which is what I think W&N is trying to get at here. Honestly it scares me. So far I haven’t had the misfortune of having to deal with vindictive bitches at work, but I shudder at any such possibility of that happening in the future.

    All I can say for W&N is try to get yourself self-employed asap.

    • Agreed with everything Indomitable Thoughts said.

      Two points. People can either lead a life of celibacy or they cannot. That is biologically predetermined. If W&N is able to lead a life of celibacy without being frustrated, he should do so. If not, he should definitely get (legal) sex.

      The second point is – gender dynamics are much more complicated than romance. If W&N has genuine difficulty getting along with women (or getting women to NOT sue him, etc.), his issue with women is much more deep-seated than their lack of romantic interest in him. In which case, he will have to do whatever he can within his power to alleviate this, either by self-employing or by drastically changing his behavioral pattern/who he is.

    • I’m already self employed now so that’s taken care of.

      I don’t know if I can truly go it alone or not but it doesn’t matter. It’s not like I have a choice.

      I gave up on anything having to do with women romantically a long time ago. This meant that outside of my mom my contact with women was minimal. Despite this the misandry I have had to deal with hasn’t gone down.

      • If you are not sure whether you are “born” asexual, you will need to get sex at some point. Not doing so will likely lead to psychiatric problems.

        If you contact with women is minimal, and are self-employed, what kind of misandry do you still get? Please don’t come back with big public policy issues. That’s not what I’m talking about since such burden is carried by the entire population/society at large.

        • I’m clearly not asexual. I don’t “need” sex because I can masturbate. I have heard the not having sex will lead to psychological problems before and it just seems to be an excuse to demand that I be thrown in prison or a mental institution.

          The fact that I have had to minimize my contact with women which effectively isolates me from a good portion of society is still getting misandry. The big public policy issues do matter and because I earn a lot more money than the average man they disproportinately affect me. Besides all that I still get plenty of misandry. There are the calls by women (and manginas) to have me thrown in prison. There are the accusations that I’m the “next Sodini”. As I’m a man who is never accompanied by a woman I’m constantly viewed with suspicion. That has the potential to blow up into a real problem. Here’s a story of a guy who I assume isn’t an old involuntary virgin like me, just single, getting problems at Barnes & Noble because he was a single man. Airlines can harass you and force you to change your seat if you’re a single man and happen to end up next to a kid. Things like that are more dangerous for me than a regular single man. That’s all the result of misandry. I have to be careful about these sorts of things anytime I leave my house. If anything went to court for whatever reason, I would be guaranteed to not get a fair trial if there was a woman judge or at least one woman on the jury. (Even without women there are still plenty of manginas so it’s still a problem even without women.) That’s even more potential misandry I could end up having to deal with.

        • You are paranoid. Calls by some kooky woman on the Internet freaks you out? Do you know anything about, uh, the law? Are you kidding me?

          You see the vicious cycle here, right? The more paranoid you act, the more suspicious you look, and the more people around you WILL come to loathe you. Have you checked out the True Forced Loneliness website? Check it out and let us know whether you think the 2 guys running the show do look, uh, bad.

        • And please don’t equate masturbation with sex. The entire processes are different, and you (should) know that. Sex is interpersonal, however little emotion/affection is involved.

        • Masturbation takes care of the physical needs just as well as sex.

          Yes I know quite a bit about the law. I also know that 12 people in a jury are the 12 people who couldn’t find a way to get out of jury duty. Someone like me will never end up on a jury because a have graduate degree and lawyers don’t want smart jurors. If there’s any women in the jury forget it.

          Did you take a look at the links I provided? Guys who don’t have anywhere near the woman problems I do get accused of being pedophiles just for being single. If they have it that bad, I have it worse.

        • No masturbation and sex are definitely not the same. After masturbation, you feel blah because serotonin is being released with no one to bond to. After sex, you get an increased boost of happiness as a result of bonding with someone after serotonin is released.

  14. White and Nerdy: I gave up on anything having to do with women romantically a long time ago. This meant that outside of my mom my contact with women was minimal. Despite this the misandry I have had to deal with hasn’t gone down.

    OK so what misandry are you dealing with now that you are not working in an environment with women?

  15. Pingback: I’m Not Paranoid But My Enemies Are « Omega Virgin Revolt

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