A Call To Arms To Destroy The Misandrist Dating Advice Distraction

Let me ask you a question.  Why is dating advice and other aspects of dating the subject of so much discussion in feminism?  Remember that when anyone talks about game, PUA, seduction, the “venusian arts”, etc., that is all under the category of dating advice.  Think of all of the issues feminists are interested in and think about how a feminist would rank them in importance.  You probably put dating advice and most things related to dating at the bottom of the list in terms of importance.  Yet, feminists consider dating advice and some of its related issues to be incredibly important.  Amanda Marcotte has written posts about the need for “non-sexist dating advice”.  Any feminist blog from Jezebel to No Seriously What About The Menz? has written a multitude of posts about “Nice Guys”.

We know some of the reasons the Paleo-Game Cult and other so called “anti-feminists” are into the dating advice morass.  They’re trying to make a buck using the game scam, or it’s simple chest beating to hide their insecurities, or any number of other reasons we have analyized.  These reasons don’t apply to feminists, so what is going on with feminists and dating advice?

I started thinking about these questions when I wrote my page on the Paleo-Game Cult.  I started noticing similarities between how the Paleo-Game Cult talked about game and how feminists talked about dating advice subjects.  Both sides had a core of female pedestalizing when it came to their respective forms of dating advice.  These were two forms of the same thing.

I considered what was the effect of all of this dating advice discussion on both the feminist and so called non-feminist sides.  The effect was that it served to distract men from what was feminism was doing.  Implicit in all of this dating advice dicussion was that any problems you have because of feminism can be solved with dating advice.  Feminism causes systemic problems, but all the dating advice dicussion puts men in a mind frame that they are dealing with personal problems.  Since there are no personal solutions to systemic problems, what all this dating adivce discussion has done is redirect the focus of many men from dealing with the real and systemic problem of feminism to non-existent personal problems.

I’m calling this the Misandrist Dating Advice Distraction (MDAD).  The MDAD includes the subjects of game, PUA, “nice guys”, and other subject that can be considered “dating adivce” or related to it whenever they’re positively invoked in a feminist or anti-feminist context.  A good example of the MDAD is action was the Elam-Frost debate on A Voice For Men.  The fact that such a debate happened in the way that it did was the MDAD in action.  Paul Elam was distracted from his work fighting feminism to debate a snot nosed twit about game.  How the debate was conducted gave legitimacy to the idea that dating advice (a superset of game) has a place in fighting feminism and mens rights.  There were also gamers saying that game (i.e. dating advice) could protect a man from false rape accusations.  That is an excellent example of the MDAD in action because we have people saying that game/dating advice, a personal solution, can protect you against the systemic problem of false rape accusations.  If a man believes what the gamers said about FRA, then he will be distracted from fighting the systemic problem of FRAs to attempting a personal solution with dating advice (which can never work).  The distraction only serves to make the opposition to FRA weaker.

The MDAD is especially insidious because it turns self described anti-feminists into feminists without those anti-feminists being concious of the process.  The gamers who said that game could protect against FRAs in the Elam-Frost debate were acting as de facto feminists.  What they did only served to strengthen feminism.  It’s also pulls in these de facto feminists into debates of dating advice issues with declared feminists.  As both sides are effectively feminist, there is no real debate going on and no real opposition to feminism happening even though some of the participants in the debate believe differently.

I am not writing this page, just to have another page on my blog.  I am declaring complete and total war against the MDAD.  My goal is nothing less than COMPLETE DESTRUCTION of the MDAD so that whenever feminism is being fought in the future any discussion of dating advice is regarded as useless or a feminist trick and ignored.  The MDAD is what is blocking the progress of mens rights more than anything else right now.  To fight the MDAD we must continue to point out how game doesn’t exist and how the “nice guy” idea is a myth and a strawman.  Beyond that, we need to learn more about the MDAD and analyze it from every possible angle.  To that end, I need the help of everyone reading this.  I can’t do this all on my own.  I need everyone to go out learn about the MDAD (whether it has to do with game, “nice guys”, dating advice in general, or anything else) and bring back their observations and other conclusions you can draw.  Use your brains to their maximum potentinal for this purpose.  Be sure to promote this call to arms against the MDAD wherever you can.  If you have a blog, at a minimum, promote this call to arms there.

Defeating the MDAD will destroy one of the most powerful weapons in the feminist arsenal.  With the MDAD gone, mens rights will be able to progress faster than it ever has before.  I believe that we can and will destroy the MDAD.

The following are posts and pages about aspects of the MDAD.

47 thoughts on “A Call To Arms To Destroy The Misandrist Dating Advice Distraction

  1. Pingback: A Call To Arms To Destroy The Misandrist Dating Advice Distraction | The Black Pill

  2. “The effect was that it served to distract men from what was feminism was doing. Implicit in all of this dating advice dicussion was that any problems you have because of feminism can be solved with dating advice.”

    exactly the implied assumption, whether conscious or not

    ” Feminism causes systemic problems, but all the dating advice dicussion puts men in a mind frame that they are dealing with personal problems.”

    bingo

    you arent suffering under a feminist economic, legal, social, sexual, and religious condition of clear anti-male apartheid

    you just need to hone your pickup and dating skills, get back into the Game, and all those other issues will disappear

    “Since there are no personal solutions to systemic problems, what all this dating adivce discussion has done is redirect the focus of many men from dealing with the real and systemic problem of feminism to non-existent personal problems.”

    fatherhood is being extinguished, western boys are being physically abused and culturally mis-treated, men are jettisoned from education and employment, vast inequalities in family “law” and jurisprudence… but pay no attention to the woman behind the curtain

    “The fact that such a debate happened in the way that it did was the MDAD in action. Paul Elam was distracted from his work fighting feminism to debate a snot nosed twit about game. How the debate was conducted gave legitimacy to the idea that dating advice (a superset of game) has a place in fighting feminism and mens rights”

    yeah

    the sudden emergence of the p.u.a./game/relationship crowd in the manosphere took place just as your movement began to gain “outside” traction, and to garner the attention of some influential people

    the game/relationship dramas siphon off attention and energy from your movement, which is still in v early stages, and makes even more diffuse what is still a small and loose community

  3. Women don’t give good advice to men about women/dating for 3 reasons:
    1. They don’t know,
    2. They know but are embarrassed to say it,
    3. They know and they know how effectively certain behaviours work on certain types of women, which means the guy has a shot at being in a relationship, thus depriving her of the chance to use the guy.
    To draw a horror movie analogy, most women prefer most men be clueless, so that any woman can get a favour off most men, rather than one woman alone receiving things from a man (or having to be beholden to him: it’s a lot harder for a (useful but not-attractive-to them)) man to receive reciprocation from many women that he has done favours for — all will back each other up and call him a creep and perform relational aggression, than it is for one woman to hold back on a guy that she has to depend on.
    It’s the attitude of the locust vs. the facehugger.

    And everytime a man uses his effort, emotion, expertise, money and time to win over an undecided woman …
    a woman is getting the option to use a guy without penalty for not reciprocating.
    A man is wasting his time on a woman planning to use him.
    Remember: time spent with a woman who does not care for you, is time wasted from one who DOES, or pursuing your own interests.
    Dating is simply an easy way for most women to get a free ride through life from most men.
    If love at first sight exists, why do you need to date?
    And if a woman hates or is undecided about you … dating will not change her mind (her friends will see to it).
    And I’m pretty sure for most women their first boyfriends didn’t need to “date” them: “dating” is compensation for the woman not really liking the guy: the more a guy is spending on her … the less she thinks of him.
    And beware the woman coming out of a long relationship to “finally end up with a nice guy”: he will be expected to pay “relationship compensation” for all her previous bad relationships (despite their “superior relationship knowledge”, women always wind up “tricked” in relationships, yet they “just know” which guys are right for them when they are young … which changes as they get older?), settle for less than her full attention (because he was never her first choice) and face up to the very real possibility of being divorced and losing half his assets (the more partners a woman has, the less likely the marriage is to last) … if even more unlucky and she’s a single mother: if he’s seen as a father figure, he will have to pay for her child too.

  4. PUA and game teaches you that unless you are approved of by women, you’re a loser. When you believe this then you genuinely feel like a loser and try to change your behavior in order to get women’s approval. You aren’t free to be who you actually are.

    PUA ironically puts women on a pedestal because it preaches that YOU have to change in order to obtain women. You’re not good enough. It’s not society or women’s standards that are wrong, it’s YOU. You’re not good enough; you’re a loser.

    It’s totally ridiculous once it’s pointed out to you… and what’s more: GAME DOESNT EVEN WORK.

    A far better path for men is to work on accepting themselves for who they are and developing themselves in directions that THEY value, not that women value

  5. All you need to do to severely undermine the influence of feminists (male and female) in the dating arena is to reject sluts and whores as potential partners.

    Insult and denigrate sluts to the MAX, please (whores are a different story).

  6. Wow,just when I was about to comment that you where on a dead end road with the anti-playa posts you hit it out of the park.

    You are absolutely correct in the idea playas foment and perpetuate radical feminism.

    It lowers both make and female to the animal level.

    Only chaos can come from it.

    Well, now that you’ve found the diamond at the bottom of the mine, what’s next?

    I’ve come to expect great things from you my friend!

  7. There is a lot of overlap between the MRA sphere and Game community but not everyone will be interested in both. I started out on Roissy’s blog and eventually joined MRAs but many people only care about getting sex/girls and don’t care about men’s rights. For those people game is useful, it is useful for me to keep my girl happy easily but it won’t stop me from fighting fra and family laws. Don’t accept the bullshit that game solves feminism but we shouldn’t fight game cuz it does solve the issues of the AFC(average frustrated chump), and it can lower the probability of divorce but not the magnitude of how fucked a man is in divorce..

    • There is a lot of overlap because Game is goddamn nonsense. Here are some of the things I’ve read about that have been called game at some point by some idiots:

      – Being able to tell a funny joke
      – Being able to convey your personality
      – Being able to convey your desires
      – Being self-confident
      – Having activities (ball-room dancing is NOT GAME)

      Is having social skills and activities game? No. What game is, is the belief that you can create attraction through words and body language. It is verifiable false, as Alek has demonstrated before. What gets attributed to “game” is nothing more than anything “good” in your life and social interactions.

      Actual “game” (creating attraction) = Lies and bullshit
      What the Roissysphere peddles = Bunch of hipster 20-something shut-ins believing that talking and doing things is a new and novel concept.

      GAME. DOESN’T. EXIST.

      • – Being able to tell a funny joke
        – Being able to convey your personality
        – Being able to convey your desires
        – Being self-confident
        – Having activities (ball-room dancing is NOT GAME)

        We had a running joke on that with a couple of people who became anti-gamers during the elam-frost debate. The thing that turned a lot of people anti-game was when they saw how absurdly game was being defined to include and be and not be everything under the sun.

        Really Funny Stuff:
        http://aleknovy.com/2011/11/01/french-fries-game/

        What game is, is the belief that you can create attraction through words and body language. It is verifiable false, as Alek has demonstrated before.

        Let me clarify though for anyone new reading this…

        – Your body-language CAN increase personal attraction (being liked as a friend, as a salesman etc…)

        – Your body-language CAN kill sexual attraction (by making a woman uncomfortable etc).

        The thing that gamers believe though is that you can use body-language to CREATE *sexual* attraction where none-existed, even though that’s blatantly false and there’s absolutely no evidence for it.

        ———
        This is why whenever you ask gamers for evidence, they provide unrelated evidence. They will show you a study that shows a certain body-language makes you more respected, liked (as a person) or makes women more comfortable. What they can never produce is a study that it can INCREASE or create *sexual* attraction…
        ———

        The thing the gamers do in their cocophany of illiteracy is that they CONFLATE things. What a former hermit notices when he first starts developing social skills is that changing your body-language increases your success rate. The thing they don’t get is that they went from weird to normal.

        What he doesn’t get is that he is simply killing bad habits… he’s no longer “creeping out” already interested women. He goes from being akward to being normal and doubles his success. He then concludes “oh, changing your body-language causes physical attraction, look I doubled my success by just changing my body-language and wording”…

        It’s the same thing that happens with people in a fad diet. They discover this fad diet, they lose 10 pounds in the first 3 weeks… and then they stay on the diet for the next 5 years, even though they never lose anything past those first 10 pounds (paleo anyone? lol).

        Gamers do that. They go from sub-average to average in a short time coz a game book got them to do something (like leave the house, or smile more), and they get a doubling of results. They go from below-average to average and assume that “game” (all the 457 other elements they applied on top of the 2 which did work to get them normal) did the trick.

        Gamers admit that 95% of game is bullshit… (in my estimate it’s more like 99.9%), but the question then is, why learn the 0.1% useful stuff from them when you can learn it from Dale Carnegie? And Dale Carnegie teaches you just the good stuff, without the additional poison and crap.

        • Alek, I am curious about these “social skills” you are referring to – basically, it seems to me that the only thing that we can really do is eliminate anti-social or hostile behavior from our interactions with people. Maybe eliminate obvious signs of being uncomfortable around them too. Do you think it goes beyond this (like we can learn to be charming) or is this pretty much what you mean?

          The reason I ask is because it seems to me that social skills can lead one down the same dangerous path as game, where one learns to distort or fake one’s personality, this time not to create attraction, but to be liked as a person, or to not “kill” attraction.

          Do you really think there are things we can DO to be more liked as a person beyond simply learning to be positively social, non-hostile, and perhaps be “comfortable” around them? Those three things are pretty much the totality of what I think of when I think of what it takes to be normally social towards others, and it does not seem to me that anyone should do more (more would be supplication)

          As for guys who get better results with game, I think they somehow manage take from game only the message that you have to be social, and don’t adopt all that alpha nonsense. I think MOST guys get much LESS normal with game.

        • Alek, I am curious about these “social skills” you are referring to – basically, it seems to me that the only thing that we can really do is eliminate anti-social or hostile behavior from our interactions with people. Maybe eliminate obvious signs of being uncomfortable around them too.

          For the most part. There are courtship-specific skills too, which mainstream books call “flirting skills”, these involve reading signals of interest/disinterest, and knowing how to flirt (communicate interest without making the other person akward).

          Do you think it goes beyond this (like we can learn to be charming) or is this pretty much what you mean?

          – Of course people can learn to be charming (which is mostly just a lack of negatives as opposed to something above-positive).

          – And yes, being charming increases chances of getting laid

          The difference is that in real life, being more charming increases your odds of getting laid by

          * making women more comfortable around you
          * worrying less about what her friends think
          * putting her at ease

          Gamers believe that you can use a trait like charm to “flip on an evolutionary switch that creates sexual attraction” –> fuck no 😀 lol. All that charm does is grease the path for an ALREADY-attracted woman.

          The reason I ask is because it seems to me that social skills can lead one down the same dangerous path as game, where one learns to distort or fake one’s personality, this time not to create attraction, but to be liked as a person, or to not “kill” attraction.

          Great point, and yes, people have gotten just as religious about that… there’s a ton of “non-gamers” in the seduction community who build their own “social artist” method or what not, where they obsess about being “the charismatic” but they fall into the same traps as a pua (gamer).. They end up just weirder.

          Do you really think there are things we can DO to be more liked as a person beyond simply learning to be positively social, non-hostile, and perhaps be “comfortable” around them? Those three things are pretty much the totality of what I think of when I think of what it takes to be normally social towards others, and it does not seem to me that anyone should do more (more would be supplication)

          There is more, but all that “more” is small details that are hard to learn conciously. If you try to learn and act out those little details, you end up coming across weird and try-hard. It’s better to just do a ton of socializing (using the three things you mention) and subconciously pick up up the other things. Changing your mentality also helps in adopting all the other small stuff, by that I mean changing how you view yourself or meeting people.

          As for guys who get better results with game, I think they somehow manage take from game only the message that you have to be social, and don’t adopt all that alpha nonsense. I think MOST guys get much LESS normal with game.

          This is proof that you’re another one of my sockpuppets. You just made a point (almost copy-paste) that I have made in the past, and you even wrote two words in ALL-CAPS (like alek does)… It’s official, you’re alek novy’s sock puppet!! As we know, it’s impossible for two distinct people to come to the same conclusion about the game cult… 😀

          No, seriously though… what you’re saying is a great observation, and jake (another ex-gamer) and me made the exact same observation a while back. We were wondering how come some guys don’t get AS fucked up by game, and through thinking back over all the people we knew in and around game, we came to the same conclusion.

          -> MOST people who get into game get WORSE results than before discovering game

          ->A few people get better results when they initially join (a newbie boost) where they just happen to (among many damaging things) also learn a few things that get them from below-normal to normal

          -> An EVEN SMALLER sub-group gets above-average results. By above-average, I mean they get laid more than the average guy.

          (If you observe these guys, you will notice every single one of them somehow managed to pick up only the good stuff and filtered out all the alpha crap. They just skim a little game, learn to smile more, approach more, not be submissive… and they just go out, approach a ton being charming and get laid more often)… That was discussed here:

          http://aleknovy.com/2011/12/16/why-do-some-people-avoid-getting-screwed-up-by-game/

        • Alek, thanks for the detailed break down, I appreciate it 🙂

          I’m reassured that you grasp how the concept of social skills can lead the same kind of abuse as game and that you use it in a much more clear, basic, and simple way! I can also really get behind your idea of “charming”- as primarily the elimination of negatives (rather than making an incredible effort to be “liked”) , and that this greases the wheels towards sex by making the girl feel comfortable around you, rather than by making her think you’re super-cool!

          So – basically non-hostile, positively social, and being comfortable is the way to go! Pretty simple.

  8. men have no rights. We create the laws and enforce them, but have no actual rights. A friend told me once about this other guy he knew saying “as soon as the man opens his mouth he is wrong”. Men are rational, women win arguments by acting irrationally. I told my friend “we think women are crazy, but we still want them so what does that say about our sanity?” Wait friends, WW3 is coming, if we men have any sense we will just all go to war and die horribly then none of it matters will it? I would rather die horribly and all at once than suffer a million cuts and bleed out slowly and that is essentially what is occurring to men today. Instead of having any chance to die gloriously, we are relegated to being milked slowly of our lives, our essence and eventually our blood-all chance or form of manhood destroyed. Women will suffer more than men during the coming strife, because they don’t have the tools to fight when men are not around to control, with their shrill nut-busting attitudes. Men are worker bees and women want to be queens – imagine what happens to the queen when the worker bees are all gone from the hive or dead. Stop busting your brains trying to fix something that is beyond repair and just watch it die already. Let it die.

  9. . Men are rational, women win arguments by acting irrationally.

    How often did women win in Taliban-ruled Afghanistan?

    • The men are the ones getting killed …
      so by the rubric of them what lives is winning,
      I’d say the women are winning – every single day.
      Your move!

  10. Pingback: The MDAD And Arguments Over Sexual Morality | The Black Pill

  11. Pingback: The SPLC Has Managed To Exploit The Greatest Weakness Of The MRM | The Black Pill

  12. Pingback: Why Are Feminists Attacking Anti-Gamers? | The Black Pill

  13. Pingback: Hey All You Feminists…It’s Your Week In The Barrel! « That Mr. G Guy's Blog

  14. Pingback: Is There Such A Thing As Non-Misandrist Dating Advice? | The Black Pill

  15. Pingback: Entrapment | The Black Pill

  16. Pingback: Men Can’t Magically Will Women To Find Them Attractive | The Black Pill

  17. Pingback: The Edge Of The MDAD | The Black Pill

  18. Pingback: Penis Size In The MDAD | The Black Pill

  19. Pingback: Less Than 10 Women In The Entire World Think This | The Black Pill

  20. Pingback: Why Is Female Approval Needed For Dating Advice? | The Black Pill

  21. Pingback: Should dating advice be a boys-only club? One self-described Omega Virgin says “yes.” « man boobz

  22. Pingback: Game In Disguise | The Black Pill

  23. Pingback: Another Day, Another Manosphere Blog Dies | The Black Pill

  24. Am I the only one who sees the glaring loop hole in the whole “nice guy” vs “jerk” theory.

    nice guy = desperate = sees women as interchangeable sex objects = player = confident = jerk

    or

    nice guy = desperate = clingy = stalkery = approaches women = confident = jerk

    or

    nice guy = MRA = not afraid to disagree with a woman = confident = jerk

  25. Pingback: Worse Than Placiebo | The Black Pill

  26. Pingback: The Problem

  27. Pingback: Fake Anti-Gamers | The Black Pill

  28. One of the biggest possible reasons for the prevalence of dating advice in feminist spaces may have to do with how women’s brains work. I have read that women really cannot tell the difference between a small problem and a big problem; they consider both the same. So to a woman, her hairdo getting messed up is as bad as 9/11.
    Men, however, rank problems in order of importance, and tend to only get serious about the important things and ignore the small things.
    This rings true; anyone who has observed women knows that they overreact to small things.
    I’d consider dating advice a small thing, but a female feminist might not. So part of the problem may be that feminists actually consider dating advice to be of some importance.

  29. Pingback: Moral Arguments About Game Are Part Of The MDAD | The Black Pill

  30. Pingback: You Are Only Allowed To Criticize Game In Very Limited Ways | The Black Pill

  31. Pingback: Anything And Everything Will Be Done To Keep You On The MDAD Treadmill | The Black Pill

  32. Pingback: The Shifting Goalposts Of The MDAD | The Black Pill

  33. Pingback: Anita Sarkeesian Is Connected To The Dating Advice Industry | The Black Pill

  34. WTF has to do feminism with PUA? Yeah, we all know feminism is bullshit. But PUA would work under feminism and also before feminism. It’s just applied psychology. They’re independent issues.
    PUA it’s not about putting women in a pedestal. It’s about peacoking and doing a few moves so she opens her legs and you could fuck her. It actually empowers men because you aren’t creating real survival & replication value to her (you are not going to be a provider or have babies with her), you’re just faking and making them think you will.
    PUA is just a technology. It doesn’t have much to do with the overall power structure of society.

  35. Also I want to say that “dating advice” coming from a woman 99% of the time is utter bullshit. Just to be safe, NEVER take advice from a woman. Just read The Mystery Method, Magic Bullets, etc. That’s the real shit and works. You don’t even have to pay for that shit, just download them through torrent.
    And if you don’t want pussy or can’t/won’t apply the methods described in those books then don’t bitch about it, most men just want to fuck and couldn’t care less about politics. Maybe you should learn a little from them.
    Yeah, I think feminism is shit and should be stopped, but that doesn’t mean you have to renounce to pussy you know. Women will actually get turned on when you demonstrate to them that you don’t beleive their feminism bullshit.
    Be successful in fighting feminism and get to fuck pussy at the same time! Win-win situation 😉

    • “Women will actually get turned on when you demonstrate to them that you don’t beleive their feminism bullshit.”

      Only because you’re Latino, “Hwan”.

      Not racism, just facts(fembitches hate gringos, & we got no time for them).

      Don’t need no stinkin’, diseased Meh-heecan pussy, myself….I can fly out to Nevada & buy top-level fuckage anytime(I just don’t need to for the forseeable future(if ever) because I feel sex is fucking overrated & I just don’t care, man).

      Do what you think you gotta do, though……..I’m just saying these rules don’t apply to everyone.

  36. Pingback: Why Does AVFM Spend So Much Time On Roosh? | The Black Pill

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s